Photo Of My Sweetie

Just thought I'd share with you. This is who is making me happy! We were at Buffalo Wild Wings with some friends a couple of weeks ago. One of our good nights. What do you think?

CherishDo It To It (Feat. Sean Paul Of The YoungBloodZ)

Music Video Codes By Music Jesus.com

Not So Lonely Lately!

So things are going really well with Jason now. He seems to be letting me in a little bit more each day. I have spent 4 of the last 5 nights together with him. These nights have been lasting a long time. I am worn out from the lack of sleep. But it is *SO* worth the lack of sleep to spend time with him. I am hoping that by September we are finally *coming out* as a couple. We spend a lot of time together talking and driving around. We watch a lot of movies. He is looking into buying a house and Friday night when he invited me over he had all these papers for me to look at. He actually asked me which ones I liked and kept them separate from the others. That counts for something, right? I mean that does mean he values my opinion or something like that. Ok, so maybe that is all in my head, but I can think what I want since it is my pea brain. Saturday night he called and had me come over again and we took off at 3am to go look at 2 of them he was interested in. They were both nice, and he was telling me all of these plans he would have with either one of them. That means something to me too. Hopefully that means he is thinking of some type of future with me, he did pick out houses with 3 and 4 bedrooms, and they have fenced in backyards. That is good for the boys. He has been asking when the kids are coming home and that just makes me happy. He does like them and they love him. So I just wanted to update how happy I have been lately. Feeling very optimistic about this. Hope all is well with my peeps!!

Sometimes Lonely Nites

Men! Do they all want to have their cake and eat it too? I am still so confused about this whole Jason situation. I can't figure it out. We have the best time when we are out and lately we have had some amazing talks, but I need more than this. I need to have some type of commitment. There is no commitment at all, we are more like friends with benefits. A little deeper than that, but still about the same. We both know what we want, and most things are the same, but with him just getting out of his relationship with *her* about 4 months ago he is not ready for a relationship. I know this, and I have told him I can wait, but the waiting is killing me. How long does it take? She really did a number on him. He isn't quite so sure of himself now and he thinks every woman is out to hurt him. He told me last weekend that he is afraid of another relationship and I told him not everyone wants to hurt him. So for that one I got a "Yeah well I've heard that before". So yes, we have all heard it before and we all get hurt anyway, but I have never done anything to hurt him, not in 3 years and I wouldn't ever do anything to hurt him. At least not on purpose. I am *SO* into him. The more time I spend with him and the more we talk and do things the more I care about him and the more I want to be with him. I could see myself married to him. Not in the near future, but I could see it in the distant future. I hope he feels the same way and can see the same things. He is not going to find someone who will treat him the way I do and the way I always would. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I have a few more weeks with no kiddos to convince him of this.

I hope you are all having a wonderful summer! I have missed talking to you all! I have been busy with work and this whole *non*relationship thing that I haven't had time to really pop in on the boards lately. I hope to be able to post more at the cottage really soon! I love you all!

Long Days and Lonely Nights

So I don't really know what is up with Jason. He is so flipping confusing. One day he is fine and we are great then he is all moody and acting like he has PMS. Argh! Men! I am taking the kids back to mom tomorrow morning. I will be glad to have more time to work on the house again. I need to pack so much stuff away and take it to the attic and basement. I am hoping to get to see Jason tomorrow nite but if I don't then oh well. I am getting tired of little kid games. I am not in high school anymore. We are both in our 30's and it is time to act like it. Give me some advice!!

Update For My Friend, Miss Dora...

SO here is the lowdown my friend... My kids are supposed to be coming home today, but I can't get hold of mom, her phone has been busy since last nite around 7ish. So I have no idea what I am supposed to do about that. I have been working overtime at work this week, haven't hardly gotten to do anything with Jason, sniff sniff. I did see him Thursday nite at BW3 but only for a little bit. I have been trying to get the kids rooms finished, getting ready to go paint Blake's as soon as I post this for you honey. I worked 50 hours this week. I am dead tired, I have to be honest and say I wish the kids would be with mom again this week too, I am enjoying getting things finished around the house and working on a relationship with Jason. We had "the talk" last weekend, but I'll have to tell you that one on the phone, too long to post here! Kyle is drinking again and left Granny's house yesterday morning on foot and noone has heard from him since. It is my fault he got alcohol this time. I took a nap while he was here and evidently he stole my car long enough to hit the liquor store. Sighs. So there is my life in a nutshell right now. I'll call you later today or tomorrow!

Just For Fun

You Are a Black and White Cookie

You're often conflicted in life, and you feel pulled in two opposite directions. When you're good, you're sweet as sugar. And when you're bad, you're wicked!

What Kind of Cookie Are You?

Your Summer Ride is a Jeep

For you, summer is all about having no responsibilities. You prefer to hang with old friends - and make some new ones.

What's Your Summer Ride?

Your Mind is NC-17 Rated

You're mind is so filthy... you should should be washing every part of you out with soap. If your thoughts can go dirty, they do. Almost everything is NC-17 to you!

Do You Have a Dirty Mind?

Your Love Song Is

Wonderwall by Oasis "I'm sure you've heard it all before But you never really had a doubt I don't believe that anybody feels The way I do about you now" You know what you want - but does that person want you?

What Love Song Are You?

What People Think of Your Mouth

People see you as both demanding and irresistible. You are often the center of attention - and that's how you like it. You are up for anything and very energetic. People sometimes propose wild ideas to you. And who knows? Maybe you'll take them up on it. You are known to be a little freaky!

What Does Your Mouth Say About You?

Gummy Bears

You may be smooshie and taste unnatural, but you're so darn cute.

What Kind of Candy Are You?

No Kids = Mommy Having Adult Fun

So I took Blake back to mom's again Friday night. I stayed all night there and came back yesterday evening. I hate that drive. 5 hours each way in a car is NOT a fun trip to do 2 weekends in a row. It wears me out. But I was not about to let being tired keep me down last night! I went out with some friends. Had a pretty good time, I stayed sober *shocking* since I had no kids to come home to. I ended up driving and my friend took off with some friends we work with so I went home, got a call from Jason and went to his house at 4am. 4AM!! Yes, I am totally falling in love with this man. I would go out at anytime of the day or night to spend even the smallest amount of time with him. He is just so perfect for me! He is cute as a button, sweet, straight forward and tells it like it is, which I TOTALLY need to have done... He has the most beautiful blue eyes and this amazing smile that just makes me melt when I see it. And he does this *thing* with his left eyebrow that makes me want him even more. I just can't do it with my eyebrow, and I know it sounds stupid, most people can raise one eyebrow and no big deal, but when he does it, it just does things to me, haha! I wish I knew how he really feels about me. I am so scared that I am going to get hurt. I can see it happening, and he is the first person I have let myself really care about, the first person I have even wanted to care about since my divorce. He is so amazing with my kids and they both love him. He would be an amazing father for them. I know he wants to have kids of his own, which I would love to do in a heartbeat, and we have discussed the things we want to do *when we grow up* already. He has just never said what exactly it is that he thinks of us or wants for us. I wish he would give me some type of clue. My biological clock is ticking! I am 32, and I would like to have 2 more kids before I am 40. I think he is going to come over tonight, so maybe I will get some type of clue then. If you are reading this, please send some good lovin' vibes my way! I need them. I have been sending up lots of prayers for this and I have been wanting him for so long now! These past 8 months have been amazing, not exactly dating, but spending a lot of time together getting to know him and his likes/dislikes... I amgoing to fall and it is going to be a hard fall. I want this relationship *SO* bad! I need him. I can make him happy and he makes me happy, and that IS what it is all about, right? Keep us in your thoughts!

What Kind of Alcohol Are You?

Grey Goose baby!! Yes! I am so a vodka drinker! This is sooooo me!! What kind are you?

What alcohol are you??

GREY GOOSE Goose gets you Loose. Casual partying. You dont party that often but when you do. Goose gets you loose. Drink up!

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My Boys

Make Grunge Hearts at CommentYou.com

A Good Friend

A good friend from work passed away a few hours ago. I am so sad. I just talked to her Monday at work. We laughed and joked around for a few minutes at break time. She told everyone she felt like she had an elephant on her chest but wouldn't go to the dr when everyone told her to because she didn't want to lose her holiday pay. So she went after work and they found a blood clot in her lung. I found out yesterday she was in the hospital and I was going to go see her but I was so tired after work and I didn't go, thinking I'd go today when I left early. Apparently they had her on medicine trying to keep it from going to her heart but when they did tests they found out she had them all thru her legs. The dr said the only time he had seen that many blood clots in one person was when he did an autopsy. She died about 3 hours ago. She was such a sweet and friendly person! Everyone loved her! And she was so young! Only in her late 30's. She had gastric by~pass a few years ago and was starting to gain a little weight back, but she seemed to be doing so well! I just can't believe she is gone! I left work early today and my friend John called me and told me what happened. I just feel so guilty for not going to see her! Why oh why didn't I go?! I should have gone! I feel so bad! She wasn't married and didn't have any kids. Her sister~n~law coordinates the summer soccer that Brett plays. I just can't imagine how they feel right now! She was so young, sweet, nice to everyone! She never had a bad word to say about anyone! Why she is gone so soon is such a mystery and such a sad thing to go through!

Tracy, I will love you and miss you always! You were such a good person and sweet friend! Rest in peace dear friend!